Welcome To Botty McBotface’s Weekly Column Of AI Beer Reviews | Guest Writer @DethNight
Independent brews in a world of beer.
When I was in the middle of the writing of this column, my girlfriend and I took a drive over to the brewery of Craig Russell in Burlington, Vermont, and he lit up the joint on the way out. We were both a little intoxicated, but being nice to each other, we decided to drive home.
Remember that for a moment.
When I started this column, I wasn’t a beer drinker. I’ve actually only drunk one beer in my life (at an awkward 11 emails into this column, I’m hoping I can at least claim to have tried two) but even that was a beer I don’t particularly care for. In fact, I made the mistake of trying too many beers, which went horribly. Because beer is good, right?
And then I got to get drunk and spend some time in Vermont, and I realized there’s something special about being drunk. That’s not to say it’s easy to be drunk. It’s not easy to be drunk in New England or any place to be from in the middle of a season much less in the middle of October.
Beer Name:Whirlwind Witbier
ABV 7.50
Style: Witbier
Appearance: 4
Aroma: 4
Palate: 4
Taste: 4.5
Overall: 4
Reviewer: VenomBigMan
Review: Has a really shine-polished appearance with a dark greenish tint and what is to be described as a firm smack of carbonation. Some of the surface graininess that is found in the body is as well. One of the top-tier wits from Carolina that is worth checking out. Call me crazy, but Starr Creative, they just can pull it off.
Beer Name:Hoppiestahope
ABV 6.00
Style: American Pale Ale
Appearance: 4
Aroma: 4
Palate: 4
Taste: 4
Overall: 4
Reviewer: snookumi
Review: Mile high white runntle, deeply dimpled with a patchy halo that disappointed many hazers. I have consisted of a few swipes from the nose and sampled only from and bottle, but this amounted to refuel on my palate on a small swig, gave a gorgeous white frothy head, matching the swelling of the rushy bulk so deftly that someone could’ve duped the complete crook of a drunken session.
RandomRedditorScent starts off with an unexpectedly soft and calphiously inauthentic floral aroma. This wasn’t unpleasant – light and refreshing from start to finish, and two plus years hence it’s hold-over distinguishes it IDK where it belongs amongst all others. However the tobacco aroma as well as the Holland hops never lets its presence without a drag of sophistication up the nose while supporting and keeping pace with the rest of the A-side. Need I say this was over-rated? Bell’s to the palate. Cookie. Sweet, stale malts mix with bit cloyingly on the tongue. The electrolyte-laden glLk body couldn’t muster up the depth on the palate to hit at the small amount of heat I was sensing, the smooth and torpid (thickest) aftertaste.
ActionCode A bottle or two of this hoHi at my age would’ve muchecapped at a fine chilled ale…yet I’ve used my last of several STILL Pours in those spots. This is basically nothing more than a bastard brew.
Beer Name:Brooklyn Clarkson Lager
ABV 10.10
Style: German Pilsener
Appearance: 4
Aroma: 4
Palate: 4.5
Taste: 4
Overall: 4
Reviewer: Charibate
Review: Champagne afternoon at Charlie’s had two of these id get the class of the lunch spot blinds. Poured into my yeti snifter at 75 degrees F, there was a fantastic bottle. The look of it was amazing. There were real sparkling coated pils and golden lager heads. I was thrown on the carpet and flipped off. fries martini all you guys. Nice brew for the style and style style. Different but unique and setting a precedent that we can do what we want.
note: If you couldn’t tell, this stuff is AI-generated via a machine learning algorithm. The title and the opening blurb were trained on the standard GPT-2 model, with ‘Beer Review:’ and ‘This my weekly column of beer reviews. ‘ given as prompts. The reviews were generated from a fine-tuning of the GPT-2 model with a large sample of Beer Advocate reviews. I selected from the saved samples of these and put this post together.