Enter Night Pilsner, a Review: It was all Yellow.

We have settled comfortably into July, and sizzling days giving way to warm summer nights has become the norm here in New Mexico.  In my hand, I hold a can of the Enter Night Pilsner by Stone, which I suspect might be a nice, crisp pilsner perfect to combat the current searing temps. Let me tell you a little about this one…

/holds up can

/reads label

It’s on. It’s time to get started. To crank things up. To get loud.

That thumping you feel in your chest isn’t your imagination. It’s your heart. It’s life. It’s the rockin’ tunes. It’s your inspiration wanting to break out. It ain’t gonna sit there waiting, so mutherf**king grab it.

Is this the intro to an MLM seminar?  Or a lost Fyre Festival ad?? What is happening?

/reads on

This is a Collaboration in the truest sense between two entities that were born on the fringes. We’ve navigated life from a different perspective. We imagined things differently from what they were, and set about using our art to change the world according to our vision. We started being misunderstood by many, and loved by few. Today that’s the same…but that ‘few’ has become ‘more.’ A LOT more. That’s you, my friend, and we’re stoked you’re with us on this journey.

The day is winding down. It’s time to get started. No more waiting. It’s time to get LOUD. It’s time to Enter Night. 

I still have zero idea what I’m about to drink, but that is one hell of an ITBMCBB*.

Let me check the ol’ Stone website:

In collaboration with Metallica, this beer represents the cataclysmic collision of two uncompromising supernatural forces. It’ s a crisp and refreshing Pilsner that, much like the band, transcends genres, shatters preconceptions and challenges convention.

Ah, I get it now.  First opinion:  Much like Metallica in 2k19, that description is trying way too hard to be bad-ass.

What’s more effing metal than partnering with one of the largest craft brewers to create a bright, floral pilsner?

Photo credit: Beerwulf

If I were to describe the beer, not with all the Hit Parader platitudes, but as if I were simply evaluating, you know, the beer, I’d characterize it as a safe and conventional pils, with a straw-colored appearance, a soft, floral aroma, and a muted and gentle bitterness.  Which is to say there’s nothing edgy or genre-bending or perception-shattering about it. In fact, it’s eminently accessible, flirting with prosaic.

TL:DR: it’s fine.  The beer is fine.

A more apropos band tie-in would have been Coldplay, which isn’t a bad thing necessarily.  A lot of people like Coldplay because, like this beer, they’re easy enough to drink down and completely inoffensive, if not a bit unimaginative. I own no Coldplay records, but shit, I can get with “Clocks”.  

So, I say try it or don’t.  You may like it, you definitely won’t hate it, and a small few of you will curiously, ravenously love it.  

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Author: Hoppy Gilmore

Burque, Nuevo Mehhico.

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