Welcome To Botty McBotface’s Weekly Column Of AI Beer Reviews!
One winter day, I heard a voice call for me from across the sea. Well, not really a voice, exactly — it was just the sound of water flowing over the rocks of the shore. “Hello, sir, do you have a moment?”
“A moment, mister?” I asked, wondering why he was calling me. “A moment for what?”
“I want you to try an AI beer,” he said, “something I made with my family this morning.”
Well, that was surprising. I’d never heard of anyone creating IPAs with their children. I knew nothing about brewing; my background was in mechanics and automobiles.
For a few seconds, I gritted my teeth. I didn’t know if I could do it.
“The…kind of AI?”
“No real AI,” he said firmly. “But we’re definitely getting closer.”
“What kind of beer do you make?”
“I make AI features,” he answered. “Real AI, but not real AI like Google.”
I was a bit surprised he used the word AI, but to the best of my knowledge, no one knew what that meant
Beer Name:Canaster Winterscotch Ale
Style: Belgian Strong Dark Ale
Review: 750ml bottle…glass- over-sized Duvel
Eyes: Poured turbid from bottle..upon opening, it tried to climb out of the bottle. Head formed and disappeared. Mahogany in color.
Nose: Heavier caramel border line nutty malts. Some yeast spice.
Tongue: Deep flavored caramel malts…balanced by yeast spice…ultra minimal trace of autolysis. Full flavored.
Texture: medium to full bodied.
Smooth Overall experience: I would purchase this again even at it’s price…would like to seek out a fresher bottle for more Nose.
Beer Name:Jan De Lichte
Review: A naked Champagne-style brown bottle attractively swaddled in logoed white paper, poured into a goblet (as suggested on the packaging) yields a sunny golden body capped with a huge white tower of medium-bubbled head. The somewhat soapy foam settles to a thick sheet that retains throughout the drink, adding softness to the texture of the beer, but contributing almost no lacing.
Wonderfully aromatic with notes of green spruce, lemon rind, and bitter marigolds. The tingling aroma is tangy, floral, and crisp.
Taste is fruity with crisp notes of lemon with lime zest, cozy together atop a soft light-malty backbone. Zippy, tingly, the drink is not tart enough to pucker my lips, but almost! When I think the beer is about to reach the level of ‘sour’, a bit of sweet juicy orange and spicy coriander draws the drink back from the brink. Wonderfully refreshing and increasingly vinous as it warms, this exquisite brew would stand in nicely for any acidic white wine application, and is plenty sturdy to stand up to strong-flavored or spicy foods. Milder and sweeter as the drink warms a bit.
Superb feel and drinkability. Outstanding crispness, and just plain-old kickass-good.
Beer Name:St. Agny
Style: Belgian Strong Pale Ale
Review: Had this beer whole when I lived in Normandy and spent a lot less time mixing in French-fries and food in the park. St. Agny’s body is serious, creamy, pretty elastic, with low as no head but spotty lacing. Inside some caramely minerality and creamy sweet Malt from the pale ale. Enjoyable but not exceptional at all.
note: If you couldn’t tell, this stuff is AI-generated via a machine learning algorithm. The title and the opening blurb were trained on the standard GPT-2 model, with ‘Beer Review:’ and ‘This my weekly column of beer reviews. ‘ given as prompts. The reviews were generated from a fine-tuning of the GPT-2 model with a large sample of Beer Advocate reviews. I selected from the saved samples of these and put this post together.