Stay Home, Drink That Giant Stout

We can’t have large Thanksgiving gatherings this year, since those potentially spread Covid far and wide, but we can still drink our Thanksgiving beers at home. I don’t usually have a large beer-drinking crowd, but enough that I can buy something new and interesting to try, or crack open a bottle of some rich aged stout to share among a few people. The lack of those people present in my house on Thursday is not going to stop me from opening something though.

Stick that turkey in the oven and break out that bourbon barrel-aged monster you’ve been aging. It’s strong, but the best thing about these beers is that they taste better approaching room temperature than fridge temperature, so even if you’re just sipping over a few hours, they’re still delicious. Drink them more like bourbon than like beer.

 

Alementary makes a beer called Figgy Pudding, which is typically described as an English Barleywine, though I’m not sure that really captures it. 

Big sweet bready malt, with a full range of supporting characters from light toffee to low chocolate. Fruit aromas of apricot, date, significant fig. Flavors of holiday fruitcake with massive malt structure. Figs for days, with supporting apricot. Date and Prune are secondary.

It’s a really neat beer, and I really love it. It’s also one of those that you can age. I’ve got a few bottles from previous years and I’m intending to open one up around noon on Thursday. At 9% it’s not as heavy hitting as some could be, but either way I”m looking forward to enjoying it slowly while I pull together appetizers/snacks or mashed potatoes or other such foods. 

So much of Thanksgiving drink media talks about pairing your beverage with the meal, but that just feels like clickbait to me. The meal is one small portion, and you’re probably snacking all day. You’re definitely DRINKING all day right? The drink for 1pm spinach artichoke dip is different than when you have your plate stacked high with various mashed tubers. Drink what you like!

 

I was in NY briefly earlier this month and went to a bottle shop in Valley Stream that I usually go to, but hadn’t been since the pandemic started. They’re pretty good with having some more of the local Long Island breweries that don’t distribute to me in New Jersey, and other various breweries distributed to NY but not NJ. Mayflower brewing company is one, and I saw they had a Thanksgiving Ale. I picked up a 4-pack of that, to be my ‘drinking with dinner’ beer. 

 

After dinner, which is typically earlier in the day than ‘real’ dinner time, I suspect I’ll need something crisper and bubbly. This might be the time for a bottle of champagne, or a nice pale Ale. We’ve got a nice bottle of Pinot Noir sparking wine from Sparkling Pointe that might be right, or I did buy a 4-pack of Alementary’s Random Placement Of Things which would fit the bill too.

Finishing beer? Probably something small and smooth. A better person might say water here, but I’m thinking of a few light and fruity ales I have in the basement, or something like a dark mild. Plenty of taste, but nothing overpowering. Something to coast to the finish line with.

Whatever you enjoy, stay safe and go ahead and tag @BarleyProse with what you’re drinking. Cheers!

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Beer Review:  Meteorite Sours

Welcome To Botty McBotface’s Weekly Column Of AI Beer Reviews!

Beers Like (or Like Stupid)

Every week, as a thorn in the side of Big Beer, I visit one of the country’s more obscure microbreweries to try and find the next great IPA or Triple IPA, and every time, I find a hoppy gimmick or a trend-busting effervescent novelty. I’m only joking. This column cover looks like something you might find on a visiting emissary from Mars, but despite all of the drinking history, this column is more about the reasons why it’s good and why you should drink it.

 

Beer Name: Aratight
ABV 10.00
Style: English Session Ale
Appearance: 4
Aroma: 4
Palate: 4
Taste: 4
Overall: 4
Reviewer: Cyndi21

Review: This one belongs to the beer dynasty of Joe Solano. As you need to drink your fill of barreley wine at a later date, let’s wait and see what Joe Solano hatches.

 

Beer Name: Fiddlers’ Wheeze
ABV 5.50
Style: American Brown Ale
Appearance: 4.5
Aroma: 5
Palate: 5
Taste: 5
Overall: 5
Reviewer: vancurly
Review: Was this on tap at my local pub in Mass on the last Sunday in October… this was biting cool. Not for the faint of heart!

 

Beer Name: Alka-Vega
Appearance: 4
Aroma: 4
Palate: 4
Taste: 4
Overall: 4
Reviewer: physmgook
Review: 20 oz served in a coffeepot. Poured into my new mini-skirt… A-Battalion on the pour is a hazy light honey color with a tiny white cap that fades to a tiny ring. Head is puffy and foamy. S-malty dark fruits, light fruit flavors, some citrus. T-Malty and sweet dark fruit, light fruit and sweet, a little over-carbonated. M-complex, medium to full bodied and no problem with constant flow. I would have to leave it at the maximum. D-another fantastic beer for the summer.

 


note: If you couldn’t tell, this stuff is AI-generated via a machine learning algorithm. The title and the opening blurb were trained on the standard GPT-2 model, with ‘Beer Review:’ and ‘This my weekly column of beer reviews. ‘ given as prompts. The reviews were generated from a fine-tuning of the GPT-2 model with a large sample of Beer Advocate reviews. I selected from the saved samples of these and put this post together. 

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Beer Review:  Sunflower Seed Beer

Welcome To Botty McBotface’s Weekly Column Of AI Beer Reviews

Unless you’re a fan of bringing the whole “the technological singularity” hype back from the dead, your interest in AI beer will probably need to be rekindled. Luckily, folks like myself have been around for some time.

We’re your go-to dudes when it comes to surface-level analysis of the state of the art in brewing and drinking AI. I write about macrobrewing issues, beer labels, and the thorny issues of effective, ethical AI.

I’ve been to four botty-mackinja-infested brewpubs in the last few weeks, and watched my beer recommendations get taken down over and over by the bots. In my own experience, the AI won this.

 

Beer Name:Lawnmower Lager
ABV 3.90
Style: American Adjunct Lager
Appearance: 1
Aroma: 1.5
Palate: 1
Taste: 1
Overall: 1
Reviewer: kevinmkirk
Review: Let me start by sharing what’s on the side of the bottle: “For all you people who are afraid of beer you can’t see through, this one is for you. This beer is yellow, fizzy, and clearly meant for washing dirt out of your mouth after mowing the lawn.” I’m not even sure it’s good for that. It’s definitely yellow and fizzy, with no head to speak of, and zero lacing. It almost smells like a loaf of bread, and nearly tastes the same. It’s very earthy and grainy with nary a hop to be found. Man, I love me some Caldera, but I would rather drink a Bud Light than this on a hot summer day. Sorry guys, but this beer gets an F.

 

Beer Name:Caldera Rose Petal (Kettle Series)
ABV 6.70
Style: American Blonde Ale
Appearance: 3
Aroma: 2
Palate: 2
Taste: 1.5
Overall: 1.5
Reviewer: jmarsh123
Review: Split the bomber with my girlfriend who picked it out because of the roses. Pours a clear gold/orange with a small white head. Smells floral as expected with some malty sweetness too. Not really picking up heavy roses on the nose. Tastes weirdly floral, but not good floral like a heavily cascade hopped beer. Hardly any hops at all, just a weird rose flavor. Good news is if I ever want this flavor again, I have a large rose bush in my front yard. Undercarbonation leads to an even worse experience. My first drain pour in quite a while. After a few sips these became way too overpowering and going through 22 oz wasn’t happening.

 

Beer Name:Mistress of Chaos
ABV ÃÂ$7.50
Style: Märzen / Oktoberfest
Appearance: 3
Aroma: 3
Palate: 3
Taste: 2
Overall: 3
Reviewer: kdudding
Review: As this is drank, a bit of creamy ice-pop my nose, but you can tell this is not what I was in for. Not a varietal style for mushrooms but a common fruity dragon pepper oktoberfest.

 

 


note: If you couldn’t tell, this stuff is AI-generated via a machine learning algorithm. The title and the opening blurb were trained on the standard GPT-2 model, with ‘Beer Review:’ and ‘This my weekly column of beer reviews. ‘ given as prompts. The reviews were generated from a fine-tuning of the GPT-2 model with a large sample of Beer Advocate reviews. I selected from the saved samples of these and put this post together. 

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Beer Review:  The Honey Green Lager (6.2%)

Welcome To Botty McBotface’s Weekly Column Of AI Beer Reviews. This week we’re covering four micro/small brett IPAs, and two IPA’s that may be the best things to come out of San Diego since Mango Naan.

 

Beer Name:Vas Deferens Ale
ABV 8.10
Style: Belgian Strong Dark Ale
Appearance: 3.5
Aroma: 3.5
Palate: 3
Taste: 3.5
Overall: 3.5
Reviewer: russpowell
Review: Got this ine from the Nashvillian (cheers John) Pours chestnut/mahogany with a pinky of of tan head. Average head retention & good lacing

S: Rich dark fruit, chocolate. All fade as this warms

T: Follows the nose, dryness, apricot, pears & cherries with a touch of oakyness up front. I start picking some candi orange notes as this warms, a touch of juicy fruit gum on the edges, along with apple skins. Finishes dry with some orange rind bitterness showing up, some cocoa powder as well

MF: Medium bodied, fairly firm carbonation, a bit too dry for my liking

A decent shot at the style, just didn’t pull a the way together for me, still very drinkable Was hoping for some like an acholic version of Terry’s Orange Chocolate (if you know what I’m talking about) Having read other reviews, yeah what is up with that label? Not sure what that demon is is grabbing…

 

Beer Name:Old Growth Imperial Stout
ABV 8.80
Style: Russian Imperial Stout
Appearance: 3.5
Aroma: 3
Palate: 4
Taste: 4
Overall: 3.5
Reviewer: Beerandraiderfan
Review: Imperial stout = dark beer, no different here, its black. Foam about 3/4″ deep, tan, light brown colored, hits the bricks right quick sucka. Coffee absent in the aroma, otherwise, chocolate malt, light boozy in a good way, warming, hides abv relatively well, no coffee to it still on the mouthfeel. Sticky, bitter, low carbonation. About 1/100th of the smoke they put in rauch ur bock. Plenty chewy. Maybe some licorice. Pretty good stuff. What a bummer mine followed a Mogli. Tough act to follow, but would not heitate to recommend this beer, just like 99% of the rest of Caldera’s stuff.

 

Beer Name:Dry Hop Red
ABV 5.70
Style: American Amber / Red Ale
Appearance: 3.5
Aroma: 4.5
Palate: 4
Taste: 4
Overall: 4.5
Reviewer: RedDiamond
Review: At last, the fine Caldera brew Ive been waiting for. I first heard of this beer on the streets of Ashland where word of mouth about a good beer is a recognized sign of an enlightened populace. With high hopes I went to the Siskiyou Pub in pursuit of this craft beer and was rewarded with a fine drinking experience. Just as word about this beer reached me before I could drink it, so too, the fine aromatic fragrance of bright floral hops leapt out at me from the glass before I could take a sip. Its not surprising that a dry hopped beer should carry such a resounding hop fragrance. Still, the vitality of the aroma was compelling. And the hops were not limited to a mere fragrance. The bittering element was concise with a touch of spice and a protracted bitter finish comparable to an ESB. All this from a beer of lush crimson with a razor thin head.

 

 


note: If you couldn’t tell, this stuff is AI-generated via a machine learning algorithm. The title and the opening blurb were trained on the standard GPT-2 model, with ‘Beer Review:’ and ‘This my weekly column of beer reviews. ‘ given as prompts. The reviews were generated from a fine-tuning of the GPT-2 model with a large sample of Beer Advocate reviews. I selected from the saved samples of these and put this post together. 

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Beer Review:  Fortune Beer Lab, Revival Brewing Company, Three Taverns

This my weekly column of beer reviews. Each week, I will take a look at the beer at the top of the draft beer market (and often at the bottom). This week, I am taking a look at the best cheap beer at the mall.
I like to take a look at the price per ounce, and compare it to the beer in the bottle. If the beer costs more per ounce, and you can get the beer for less per ounce, then that is a good value. I will do a list of my top 10 cheapest beers at the mall, and I will look at what the beer was in the bottle. It will be a list that will be updated weekly.

 

Beer Name:Rauch Ãœr Bock
ABV 7.40
Style: Rauchbier
Appearance: 3
Aroma: 4.5
Palate: 4
Taste: 4.5
Overall: 4.5
Reviewer: UCLABrewN84
Review: Pours a murky light brown with a 1 inch fizzy tan head that settles to a film on the top of the beer. Small dots of lace slowly drip back into the remaining beer on the drink down.

Smell is of smoked meat, smoked cheese, campfire smoke, etc.

Taste is of smoked meat/cheese, campfire smoke, wood, and a slight cocoa/coffee flavor on the finish.

The aftertaste is also cocoa/coffee with just a hint of the smoke flavors.

This beer has a crisp level of carbonation with a bubbly mouthfeel.

Overall this is a very good rauchbier from Caldera that has a bit of a different flavor than German rauchbiers.

Beer Name: Caldera Pale Ale
ABV 5.50
Style: American Pale Ale (APA)
Appearance: 4.5
Aroma: 4
Palate: 4.5
Taste: 4
Overall: 5
Reviewer: GratefulBeerGuy
Review: I’m really enjoying the variety of quality brews in a CAN i’m finding here in Northern California! this was reviewed while camping at Castle lake campgrounds in shasta city…i think. Ooooh yeah, cracking open a can sounds good!! a thick, solid and rocky -white head stands proud like Mt. shasta itself over a bright plae golden liquid, much like the N.Cali sunsets.

Retention is amazing, it’s not going anywhere anytime soon. The nose is just bursting with hoppy cascade aroma’s!! Sweet fruits, musty herbs, wheat and corn and light but sweet malt. This all cascade beauty has a great aroma. The hoppy flavor’s here are deep and very complex, cascade hoppiness all in my face. Light and very, very crispy feel is exciting and spot-on for the style. crisp with a creamy smooth finish from the beastie foam still clumping it’s way down slow.

The cascade hops provide a gentle fruitiness and perfect dry-herbal and earthy complexity. I havn’t been this excited for a Pale ale since my very first Sierra Nevada!!(circa 1996) This pale ale in a can has made my day, and I’m camping in one of the most pristine locations I’ve ever been too. This is simply one of, if not THE best Pale ale i’ve ever had. Bring on the cans!!!

 

Beer Name:Pilot Rock Porter
ABV 5.80
Style: American Porter
Appearance: 3.5
Aroma: 3.5
Palate: 3.5
Taste: 3
Overall: 3.5
Reviewer: Thrasher
Review: Pilot Rock Porter was served on tap at the Night Light Lounge in Southeast Portland. This is a great neighborhood bar, with a fine, if not huge selection of beer, and deserves some spillover beer geek traffic once the Clinton Street Theater’s brewpub opens down the street. Anyway, the porter is lighter than your typical porter black, more of a transparent ginger brown. The head is small but the lacing is determined. The aroma is mild rainy day, and the flavor profile contains deep caramel, light smokiness, cured meat, cola, and a tart herbal quality that masks the malt sweetness. It is not an exceptional beer but it satisfies and provides a lighter counterpoint to Caldera’s rich coffee/Cauldron stouts.

 


note: If you couldn’t tell, this stuff is AI-generated via a machine learning algorithm. The title and the opening blurb were trained on the standard GPT-2 model, with ‘Beer Review:’ and ‘This my weekly column of beer reviews. ‘ given as prompts. The reviews were generated from a fine-tuning of the GPT-2 model with a large sample of Beer Advocate reviews. I selected from the saved samples of these and put this post together. 

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