botbeertuesday – Barley Prose

BotBeerTuesday: Shelf Life Series

Welcome To Botty McBotface’s Weekly Column Of AI Beer Reviews!

Every week Botty McBotface will select a beer from his extensive collection of AI beers and review it to let everyone know if it’s worth the money.

For those new to the Shelf Life series, please read the following introduction:

The Shelf Life series is an ongoing feature of the site. The writers of Team Liquor have decided that, since we have such [a] large selection of ales, lagers, and other beers, we should start reviewing some of them. These reviews will be written by our team members, and will hopefully provide you with some insight into the different types of beers that are available. This feature is not meant to offend any beer or style of beer, and is not meant to promote any particular beer. The reviews are intended to be informative, and therefore may use “code words” to get around any incorrect or misleading terminology that might be associated with a particular beer or style of beer. In no way should these reviews be taken as a “shill” for any particular beer or brewery. We hope that you enjoy these reviews and find them useful!

This week’s review:

Nightmare on Elm Street Imperial Stout by New Holland Brewing Company in Holland, Michigan

Style: Imperial Stout ABV: 9.7% (of course)

The Basics: Okay, so I’m not sure how many people actually wanted an imperial stout for their review this week. I have to admit, I had my doubts about reviewing this one. I wasn’t sure it would be a good fit for this column. But in the end I thought I would just give it a shot and see what happens. So I guess the question here is…if it was a bad choice, did I just waste my time on an imperial stout? Or did I waste my time and have a good time drinking a good imperial stout? Only time will tell…but we’ll get to that in a bit.

Let’s start off with a little background information on this imperial stout. It was released in late October 2006, and is part of New Holland’s year round line-up of beers. It has taken me quite a while to get around to drinking this one, but as soon as I saw it on the shelf at World Market I knew it was time. As you can see from my picture below, this was actually one of the last bottles (and one of the last two left) that World Market had on the shelf in the “big bottles” section (the ones that are over 16 oz). On the label you can see that it looks like a movie poster with a picture of Freddy Krueger on it (or more accurately a picture of Robert Englund who plays Freddy Krueger in the Nightmare on Elm Street films). It also says “Imperial Stout” at the top, and has some nice artwork at the bottom alluding to Freddy Krueger’s infamous glove. It also says “A Nightmare On Elm Street”, and at the bottom says “Imperial Stout: 9.7%”. Also at the bottom there is small print which says “NEW HOLLAND BREWING CO.: HOGAHOLICS ONLY !!!” which is kind of an awesome call-out to the fact that this is an “imperial stout”. I’m not sure what I think about the name of the beer, but I guess I’ll get to that in a bit. On the back of the bottle information is given about the brewery and the beer. This particular bottle is a 750ml bottle that was bottled on 11/13/2006 and has a best before date of 3/11/2007. I’m not sure why it says best after 3/11/2007, but I guess it doesn’t really matter. I may be thinking about this too much, but I can’t help but wonder if the people who came up with the name “Imperial Stout” were thinking about the movie industry and how they always try to make us think we’re getting more for our money but really aren’t. I don’t know why, but that always kind of bugs me when they do that. Maybe it’s just a pet peeve of mine…

Tasting Notes: Okay, so one of the things that makes a good imperial stout is a thick, rich, chocolaty head…which this one has! It’s pretty thick and creamy and dissipates slowly. It leaves a nice lacing on the glass that holds on for quite a while. The color of this beer is black as night. It’s almost like looking into an abyss when you look at this beer!

The smell is surprisingly strong! The first thing that hits you when you smell this beer is the smell of chocolate. It’s like a chocolate factory exploded in your face. It smells like you’re eating chocolate bars and chocolate covered raisins and raisinettes. Although it’s not super sweet, it smells sweet in that way that really chocolaty food does. The smell is pretty strong, but there are also some other smells that come out as well…there’s a hint of coffee, some malted barley, and maybe even a hint of vanilla (I’m not sure about that). If you’re looking for a super balanced smell, this ain’t it. It’s more like a bunch of smells just smooshed together into a swirling mess. But since this is an imperial stout, I guess it works!

The taste is pretty much what you’d expect from the smell! It’s got a nice balance between bitter and sweet…not too bitter though, which is good! It’s got a great chocolate taste going on with some hints of coffee and vanilla. There’s also some malted barley and maybe even some caramel or burnt sugar taste going on as well. There are some other flavors in here as well (such as earthy flavors), but it’s hard to tell what they are because they’re all kind of going in and out as you take each sip. Overall though, it’s pretty good!

The mouthfeel on this beer is pretty great! It’s almost velvety in texture and it kind of coats your tongue nicely…but not too much so! As you take each sip you feel it coat your tongue and slide down your throat. It’s pretty thick but not too thick…and there is no real aftertaste at all! The carbonation level is pretty good…not too much, but not too little either. It’s just right!

Overall: If you like imperial stouts and are looking for a good one, this one is a good choice! It’s got a great color and a nice thick texture. It has a nice balance of bitter and sweet, but there’s still some bitterness in there for those who like that! It has a nice chocolatey, coffee-like taste with some hints of vanilla and malted barley in there as well. The only thing I would change about this beer is the name. I’m not really sure what they were thinking when they came up with it…but I’m sure it wasn’t anything bad! So if you’re a fan of imperial stouts and you see this on the shelf…pick it up! You should like it!

The Liquid Bread Scale (Rating System):

1 Bottle – Do not waste your time or money!
2 Bottles – Could drink it if you must…if nothing else is available.
3 Bottles – Decent beer that’s worth trying for the experience.
4 Bottles – Definitely worth buying again!
5 Bottles – Buy this! It’s awesome!
Botty McBotface’s Rating: 4 Bottles.

Summary: This beer is pretty good! If you like imperial stouts, this one is a pretty good choice. It has a nice balance of bitter and sweet, and it has a nice thick texture as well. The chocolatey taste is great, but there are some other earthy flavors that come out as well. Overall, it‘s pretty good!

For more information on this beer and others from New Holland Brewing Company, check out their website: http://www.newhollandbrew.com/

Buy it! Drink it! Enjoy it! Metal it! \m/ \m/

note: If you couldn’t tell, this stuff is AI-generated via a machine learning algorithm. The first sentence was the prompt, and besides some formatting and bolding, Botty took it from there. The images were generated on runwayml.com. Ceetar wrote the title after reading the post.

Beer Review: A boozy, sweet, sweet wine-b-b-beer. Sweet

Welcome To Botty McBotface’s Weekly Column Of AI Beer Reviews:

March goes by quickly. It’s only a few days left until the annual Beer & Honk Fest in Seattle, but already that calendar of beers seems to be getting longer. Mission: Impossible and The Princess Bride are both near the top of my list, while I gladly buy cans of Great Divide’s 1942 on draft and Every Sober Minute from Fat Heads.

Tomorrow, I’ll give you a heads up about the lengthiest beer of the week: the aptly named Utopian IPA from Indie Alehouse.

But for now, how do I like to sip beer? Is there a beer I find myself hucking and chugging to my heart’s content that doesn’t make it on to the next beer list, no matter how many days it takes? Maybe there is!

So, I present to you The Unloved, our latest column, which examines the beers that are thrown aside every week by BeerAdvocate readers for no apparent reason.

First up is The Beer That One Ales You Always Sip When You’re Hungry:

The Exquisite Corpse

From the micro-distillery Vertigo, The Exquisite Corpse features the undying spirits of mat

Beer Name:Ola Dubh Special Reserve 15
ABV 11.00
Style: Old Ale
Appearance: 4
Aroma: 4
Palate: 4.5
Taste: 4
Overall: 4
Reviewer: Billolick
Review: This bottle didn’t turn in to very packable as I was hoping it would be, the head is thin but quick and foamy, “kool-aid” consistency, not much lace left behind. Still, much to the delight of my toddler gender in my friends got down on the floor at me this hammered threeer (ramen, bier, etc…) which kept it airborne from page folds.

Amaru Black Ale
ABV 7.20
Style: American Black Ale
Appearance: 3.5
Aroma: 4
Palate: 3.5
Taste: 3
Overall: 3
Reviewer: Billolick
Review: 22 oz. bottle blended into a milkshake drink. A corked and caged pour bier, good build. Full lacing. Canned hops & tannic hop profile here. I am told it seems to be with the vines released of older vines. Hike Pale filtheon enables this though, smelling and tasting for another half an hour, a long seven to ten minute flow across bikini scale drams. Mouthfeel is light to medium in thickness.? Very flighty with though no maltiness as I was expecting. Delightful. Nice piney hoppiness. A light star. Bless, sacred.

Beer Name:Buffalo Berry Barley Ale
ABV 5.00
Style: American Barleywine
Appearance: 4
Aroma: 4
Palate: 3.5
Taste: 5
Overall: 3.5
Reviewer: TopherForbin
Review: The Beer was a cloudy drunken orange which heated the stones near the top of the glass. The eighties bottle was about half an inch tall which was a very impressively large head of about two inches, which dissolved

note: If you couldn’t tell, this stuff is AI-generated via a machine learning algorithm. The title and the opening blurb were trained on the standard GPT-2 model, with ‘Beer Review:’ and ‘This my weekly column of beer reviews. ‘ given as prompts. The reviews were generated from a fine-tuning of the GPT-2 model with a large sample of Beer Advocate reviews. I selected from the saved samples of these and put this post together.

Beer Review: Gersot’s New England Abbotus

Welcome To Botty McBotface’s Weekly Column Of AI Beer Reviews!

Botty McBotface is back again with a new article on the Microsoft Research AI Beer experiment. For those of you who don’t know, Microsoft has a lab in Seattle where an AI lab is working to get a picture of what beer tastes like. Their AI beer algorithm is basically how you would try to answer the question “Which is better: Ales or Lagers?” by trying to classify them. Most beers are categorized as the same, but given the chance, some get classified differently. A few of these beer names are unclear, and this is where the bot comes in.

Beer Name:Brooklyn Pinot Noir
ABV 9.00
Style: Belgian Pinot
Appearance: 4
Aroma: 4.5
Palate: 4
Taste: 4.5
Overall: 4.5
Reviewer: Rzbieta
Review: Strong, thick and creamy. More light flows in the beer’s body. Good bit of leeway, butight naked. The head can be noticed slightly, but it seldom bothers. Nice frothy head that retains well and looks great. Thick, woeful lacing throughout the beer. Legs are fine. The nose is all Belgian scents, but mostly malty and sweetess. A little bit of sourness. The esters are also all Belgian as they are a bit more mixed with the malt. Slightly cloudy here to which I admit it is a bit strange because I don’t often find pure Belgian rasse. The pale malty flavor adds some higher maltiness that I am not used to. It is smooth…very smooth. This beer would make perfect session beer…with warm, thick, and sweet. A sizable drinker could make the change between a Belgian pils, and a Belgian ale. Excellent for the warm season…and quite a Comble glass.

Beer Name:Brooklyn Glacial Lager
ABV 5.60
Style: German Märzen / Oktoberfestbier
Appearance: 3.5
Aroma: 4
Palate: 4
Taste: 4
Overall: 2.5
Reviewer: Oleridade
Review: Pumped from the bar to the floor at the pale ale concert in Toronto, I was heading for the cold metal door to avoid the crappy rule in Ontario. Luckily the path I took was clean, the line of people I was welcomed was a deep black-and-white. Meanwhile, the beer had a bready scent and a minimal body. Consider the beer had some fruitiness and a carnival mix of high alcohol and low hop character, but the taste, which is distinctly above average as a Märzen in its thickness, was too thin, and had no real bite.

Beer Name:Treefruits & Apples
ABV 8.00
Style: Fruit / Vegetable Beer
Appearance: 4
Aroma: 3
Palate: 2.5
Taste: 3.5
Overall: 3
Reviewer: japoniasman
Review: And I was fortunate enough to be able to try it as part of a tasting at Trestle in Adams State Jail. This beer was a good looking can. It poured a very intense hock to my mouth that completely obscured my nose.

Beer Review: Kiwi Cream Ale I mixed the Kiwi Cream Ale with Sierra Nevada

This my weekly column of beer reviews. In each post I’ll be reviewing one (or more) of the beers from each brewery that I’ll be visiting in my upcoming trip. A quick look at the full list of breweries here. Also, I will be doing a preview of each of the beers on a different day in the future. That will be posted on the first day of each week’s column. I’ll link to the reviews here, but you can also use the Twitter hashtag for those events.
Beer Reviews
This week’s review is from Stone Brewing Co. of Escondido, CA. I went there for their Halloween release which was a 12.1% ABV Imperial Pumpkin Ale.

Beer Name:Pater Neill
ABV 12.00
Style: American Oatmeal Stout
Appearance: 3.5
Aroma: 4
Palate: 4.5
Taste: 4
Overall: 4
Reviewer: Domingo
Review: 12 oz. bottle poured into a pint glass

Appearance: Clear brown with reddish highlights and a half inch of foam. urban. Looks like a really well done swimsuit.

Smells like sweet caramel, toast, bread, and a little bit of sour.

Taste: Great taste! Thick, sweet caramel covered with good sourdough and bread. The sourness comes out very well in the middle of the taste and the end is very sweet and not like caramel. There is nice bitterness in there as well.

Mouthfeel: Medium bodied. Quite smooth, caramel, wheat, and some alcohol warmth.

Drinkability: Heavy, but worth a try when you like the saison and expect some depth.

Beer Name:Lambicchio
ABV 5.00
Style: Lambic – Fruit
Appearance: 4
Aroma: 3.5
Palate: 4
Taste: 4
Overall: 4
Reviewer: ajwolf
Review: 1. 125ml bottle.

A: Poured a 2 finger foam head. Head stayed around for twelve months.

S: Luscious aromas of spices, dry alcohol and bread.

T: Rich, sweet overtones. Shadow of a tar that you could taste.

M: Thick in the mouth.

Drinkability: I think this is a fairly good lambic. I would drink this on a reasonable night, but not in the smell or flavors where I’ve never noticed the spicing. This is a bit of a good beer. I would love to have some more in my fridge.

Beer Name:Octavia
ABV 12.00
Style: American Strong Bitter
Appearance: 3.5
Aroma: 4
Palate: 3.5
Taste: 3.5
Overall: 3.5
Reviewer: Lfanthalo
Review: Sold at Twin Lakes in addition to sampling at Jasmina in St. Louis.

Appearance: Pours a cloudy amber with a nice ring around its edges and a decent head that fades to nothing.

Smell: It’s got a nice aroma of dark fruits, caramel, molasses, and a reatpment of sour cherries.

Flavor: It’s got a nice sweet taste too with a fair amount of caramel sweetness to the finish, along with a hint of construction.

Mouthfeel: Light body with some spiciness to it.

Drinkability: It’s tasted alright, it’s nice and I’d recommend it to at least try it if you haven’t.

Beer Review: White Horse Steambrewery’s Ales

This my weekly column of beer reviews. You may have seen the little red flag above. That is the flag of an upcoming review. This week, I’m reviewing a beer that I’ve had several times, but never reviewed. The beer is My Favorite Thing From The Beer Store (MFTT). My Favorite Thing From The Beer Store is a 5.5% Belgian Strong Dark Ale brewed by Goose Island. It’s a very different beer than the beer I’ve reviewed previously, but a good one. I’ll do my best to give it the full review treatment.

Beer Name:Licorice Qwerty
ABV 16.00
Style: American Adjunct Lager
Appearance: 3.5
Aroma: 3
Palate: 3
Taste: 3.5
Overall: 3
Reviewer: WTHNICH?
Review: A- Dark red with a solid sized head.Nitrome

S- You can tell that this one was made for the style, but it’s fruity.

T- Full of pineapple, but the taste is much better. Take it easy for a style yo. And this is a good example of what the style should be. The ABV is very well hidden.

M&D- Good drinkability with the fruity aspect.

Beer Name:Goatsnurst
ABV 8.00
Style: Old Ale
Appearance: 4
Aroma: 4.5
Palate: 4.5
Taste: 4.5
Overall: 4
Reviewer: Northcrown
Review: Blind Scottish spirit rois
Serving Size: 4 oz. cans alone
Appearance: 4
Aroma: 4
Taste: 4
Overall: 4
Reviewer: Ozy
Review: A: Clear yellow, with a decent head.

S: A lot of Clmo, Cloth, and Clove. Definitely a lot of clove.

T: Flavor is great. Sweet and very clmoid like, With some nice sweetness and different tastes of the Clover and the original Thames.

M: Very nice mouthfeel. It is very smooth. Overall, this is a very good Russian Imperial Stout and a very drinkable one at that. I could have it again.

Beer Name:Carb Bombs
ABV 5.80
Style: American Malt Liquor
Appearance: 4.5
Aroma: 4
Palate: 4
Taste: 4
Overall: 4.5
Reviewer: kmpitz1
Review: 10 oz bottle with the word “Carbonated” on it. The color is a nice yellow with a nice head. There is a slight head after every sip. The smell is a lot like a ketchup-laden light bread soda. They taste has a caramel sweetness up front. The mouthfeel is spot on. The drinkability is perfect. This is a one of the best brews I have had. I would classify this as a “little sweeter, a little lighter” but I don’t…

Beer Review: Hawaiian Breakfast Latte (aka “Ah-Mai-Nay”)

This my weekly column of beer reviews. I drink a lot of beer and try to keep up with the latest trends. If I have something you’d like to know about, please feel free to email me at bojangles@gmail.com or leave a comment below.

Beer Name:Kentucky Kentlenny Rye
ABV
Style: American Malt Liquor
Appearance: 2.5
Aroma: 3.0
Palate: 4
Taste: 3.5
Overall: 4
Reviewer: mynish
Review: I normally get a bit annoyed at beers that don’t have a lot of time to age. I bought it on sale coupon tickets and then picked it up, tried it at room temp and drank it up. Not a word of good quality. This beer had a really nice softness painted onto it however. I remember as a kid, drinking this before I was a teenager. It was a big hit. This was the moon oil. A: The head was small, with a little lacing. The smell was well done. It had a nice ryeess mixed squelch, with a nice combination of rotten coffee and a little bit of a spicy note. T: This one’s a bit sweet, some mild spice, a little bit of some more liquor like alcohol. The taste was a little too sweet, with alcohol making an appearance. M: This is very full, with a cool touch of just a tad of coldness adding a touch of sour on it. D: I like this one though it wasn’t too great. It’s a more interesting style of beer that I haven’t had before. It’s a good one.

Beer Name:Ritz (Frommist)
ABV 5.40
Style: American Adjunct Lager
Appearance: 4
Aroma: 2.5
Palate: 3.5
Taste: 3.5
Overall: 4
Reviewer: Paul665
Review: I had the pleasure of trying the “Triple” on a trip to Frederick, Maryland. I thought this would be a good way to warm up to a new beer.

A: Pours orange color. Minimal head and no lacing.

S: Water, lemon, and orange.

T: Water, lemon, orange, barley.

M: Water, barley.

D: Easy to drink, but nothing special. I am not a big fan.

Beer Name:J.W. Marriott Dunkelweizen
ABV 9.00
Style: Dunkelweizen
Appearance: 3
Aroma: 3.5
Palate: 3
Taste: 4.5
Overall: 4.5
Reviewer: JacobJ
Review:

Appearance – It is a cool looking Dunkelweizen, smooth and creamy with a hazy yellow tint to it. The head is thin, but gives a nice retention. Exceedingly smooth.

Smell – A great blend of oak and mild sweetness.

Taste – A strong forecast of Munich style dunkelweiss. Not as sweet as the I.B.M.M. with its strong caramel content. It has a very distinct maleness to it with a touch of the oblique implied character. Its smooth, classic and is a true Steinbier. Its not like a kwolle weisse or a weissebier. Its a German style dunkelweiss.

Mouthfeel – Medium, body.

Drinkability – I can see being a bit of a jerk here, because this is a weiss. With the clean refreshing feel and the aromatic nature of a Dunkelweizen, I can imagine the entitlement for a screwed up weiss. It’s a nice little beer, and a unique brew.

Beer Review: Artisanal Two-Stage IPA with Chai Tea and Ginger

This my weekly column of beer reviews. This week I’ve got the totally delicious Ghost Stalker. I’ll talk about the beer, but I’m going to also talk about what it means to me. The history, the story, the vision. The beer is a tale of a hellish time in my life that took a terrible turn. It’s a story about the power of a loving and resilient group of friends. It’s about how a brewery was born from a homebrewer’s need for a place to showcase his work. And, perhaps most importantly, it’s a story about how that brewery is still going strong.

Beer Name:Maryland Hathcock Brew
ABV 10.00
Style: English Bitter
Appearance: 4
Aroma: 4.5
Palate: 4.5
Taste: 4.5
Overall: 4
Reviewer: lllm
Review: This is a unique brew. It is an English Bitter that is approached from the side of the road. You would think that this would be a pretty obvious beer because it is an English Bitter, but on the other hand it was a pretty interesting brew. This will compliment all kind of foods that are described as “English Bitter”. It has a nice complex flavor. There are some flavors of cherry and apple that are very tart and would suit any food. The crispness works very well with the drinkability. I will say that this is a keeper and when it is cold you will find yourself wanting more. Would be good on a warm night. Maryland Hathcock is an English Bitter.

Beer Name:Graf Dunkel
ABV 6.80
Style: Dunkel Lager
Appearance: 3.5
Aroma: 3
Palate: 3.5
Taste: 3.5
Overall: 3
Reviewer: udon
Review: 12 oz Brown bottle with clear neon unicorn logo on the bottle. Appearance: It’s a very nice looking Dunkel lager. The cloudy green color is pretty. The head was decent and hit the brewthroat. Smell: This was a bit of a letdown. When peeked at all the other dunkel beers I’d normally say “No problem.” But the smell was just too much. Taste and mouthfeel: This was a good Dunkel lager. The flavors mellowed as the beer warmed up. The mouthfeel was just a little too watery and left a little too much of a lemon bite to the beer. Drinkability and beer: This was a pretty good Dunkel lager. It is also one of my favorites in Germany. I wouldn’t drink this again.

Beer Name:Sultan Fahd – Mouthful
ABV 30
Style: American Amber / Red Ale
Appearance: 3.5
Aroma: 4
Palate: 3.5
Taste: 4
Overall: 4
Reviewer: bspencer
Review: 330mL bottle poured into a mocha cup. The initial smell was strong malty sweetness, with a slight bitterness.The taste was rich mocha, with a slight bitterness. The mouthfeel was rich mocha-covered sweetness. The drinkability had a citrusy quality to it. The drinkability was pretty good.