Beer Review: Imperial Gaspanic Thunder

Welcome To Botty McBotface’s Weekly Column Of AI Beer Reviews. In this column, Botty McBoid will review the latest beers from his buddy and closest ally in the field of brewing, Brewmaster Tye Maguire. Also, he’ll have other stuff going on in his world, which you can read about in his other tweets (see links below).

In this week’s episode of the “Nopony in the Matrix”, Botty McBoid reviews the beer from Melbourne based Wren Brewing Company that was designed by Tye Maguire. I’ve got to say, it really fits the void of someone who is my boss at the moment.

He sings praises of this beer, and there’s a lot to take on board when you consider the music that went into creating it. There’s a lot of love for Beercade, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Silent Running, and other US pop culture references, as well as the song “What a Weekend” from Toei Animation’s Dragonball Evolution. I think I can enjoy this for a few minutes, but the rest of it…no thank you.

Wheels up and read on.

McBotface IPA
6.5% ABV
Pilsner, British Style
EKG and IBUs:
ABV: 6.0%
IBU: 86
SRM: 10

Appearance:
A solid-gold-colored beige with a hint of brown. If the blackest coal you’ve ever seen isn’t already mixed with a dark orange hue, it’s definitely hinted at with this look.

Aroma:
It’s clean and malty. Almost a barleywine-like smell, with a bit of sweetness to it.

Taste:
This beer is extremely crisp, light, and refreshing. The bitterness is subtle, but noticeable. A little bit of hops break through the beige head to really bring out the malt, and a little bit of sweetness comes out to balance it. The flavor is also quite citrusy.

Overall:
This beer is so refreshing! And if I didn’t already know this, I’d swear

 

Beer Name:That ’70s European Wonder
ABV 8.00
Style: Witbier
Appearance: 3.5
Aroma: 3
Palate: 3.5
Taste: 3.5
Overall: 4
Reviewer: wisrarebeer
Review: This is 4.47. Drew a few for an auction last October. Carried all the vintage over that year. Had to buy everything in order to get rid of a tiny can. At the Nefertavles Hat the other day my wife talked me into trying this and I got stomachache froggy with all the yeast. What I considered a good thing I hardly considered an enjoyable thing. I liked this.

 

Beer Name  :Vintage Model 70
ABV 4.50
Style: American Dry Hop IPA
Appearance: 3.5
Aroma: 3
Palate: 3.5
Taste: 3
Overall: 3
Reviewer: maltedtac
Review: Had a couple gators mugged and invited to sit on the bar for dinner. It was awesome to sit and have a drink. A gator – served to me, poses a real threat on the bar. I have no qualms about a few other beers on the menu that turn out to be really mediocre though. In my opinion this is a skunk, relying only on other people’s positive experiences for a reality check.

 


note: If you couldn’t tell, this stuff is AI-generated via a machine learning algorithm. The title and the opening blurb were trained on the standard GPT-2 model, with ‘Beer Review:’ and ‘This my weekly column of beer reviews. ‘ given as prompts. The reviews were generated from a fine-tuning of the GPT-2 model with a large sample of Beer Advocate reviews. I selected from the saved samples of these and put this post together. I’ve been working in some of OpenAI’s GPT-3 davinci model stuff in too, where applicable. The images were generated on runwayml.com.

Mets On Tap Episode 12

You can email us questions, comments, and beer recs at podcast@barleyprose.com.

Chris, Jason and Jake talk dominate Mets pitchers, what the bullpen depth looks like in the minors, sticky stuff, and much more!

They discussed prop bets for deGrom. I checked and the Over/Under line for deGrom on Wednesday was at 9.5(-134).  Despite getting lifted after 3, he almost made the over!

Some bench love for the -illars, and then a small digression involving who the interim GM actually is.

Beers

  • Jason: Saranac Blueberry Blonde Ale
  • Chris: Stoneyard Key Lime Pie
  • Jake: Modern Times Electrojet NEIPA
  • Botty McBotface: Bath Ales Blonde Lass

Follow Us On Twitter: Jason, Michael,Chris, and Jake.

And check out Barley Prose on Instagram for more beer content.

Please rate (5 David Wright   ..or Davey Johnson..or Ed Charles.. Stars!) and review the podcast on Apple PodcastsGoogle Podcasts, your favorite nail salon, or just scribble the URL on a cocktail napkin at your local brewery.

A Nice Refreshing Weekend, And Beer

It was a good weekend. It was a good beer weekend. I drank a lot of beer.

 

The beer wasn’t why it was good, but it was certainly a happy companion. It started with a trip to Connecticut for my cousin’s, once removed, birthday party. There was some swimming, there were some snacks. There was a keg of beer.

 

Specifically, there was Norbrook Farm’s Mount Pisgah, a 6.8% American IPA. This was about as local as you get, clocking in at a mere 1.23 miles, as the crow flies, from where I drank it. Their website says they have a fire pit–with the right wind conditions I might even be able to smell that fire pit from where I was. 

top of a kegerator, one tap, with the label for Mount Pisgah IPA. Some Red solo cups and a glass boot of straws

Was the beer good though? I was drinking with family and friends, many of whom I had not seen in quite a while. So, low bar, but the beer was good. I don’t know if it was a pint I’d have a second of sitting at a bar somewhere, but a nice solid IPA while wandering around chatting with friends and family? Perfection. The American IPA style fits it pretty well, it had plenty of that caramel malt backbone that felt like a throwback, but plenty of friendly and tasty hop flavor too. I’ll be back on July 3rd, and hopefully the keg is tapped and I get to try something else next time, or else I’ll just have to help tap this one. 

 

The weekend continued the next day with some friends and their children. Everyone Is vaccinated and mostly safe, so we didn’t worry too much about the kids getting some much needed socialization, we even set up the bounce house. The LOL Surprise Doll themed bounce house.

 

As is my style, I had too much beer. We drank a rather nice Zwickel from Jack’s Abby, and finally tried Gumballhead from 3 Floyds, but you know those are great breweries and beers, the one I want to talk about is the Breadwinner by Upward Brewing Company. 

 

Upward Brewing Company is a relatively new brewery in the Catskills, Livingston Manor, NY.  They’ve got a large plot of land, something called Beer Mountain, and a hiking trail. And beer. A friend was up there this weekend and brought a growler of Breadwinner to the party, and we finished that growler. 

 

Breadwinner is a 5.5% American IPA, which appears to be the style of the weekend. At 5.5% it doesn’t hit as hard as many IPAs, which gives it a very crushable feel. Standard Citra & Mosaic hops, but not overdone and just enough malt backbone to fit the style and ‘balance’ it. I found myself happily topping off my glass as I grilled up some burgers and talked nonsense and chased the kids around. Then it was empty. How’d that happen? 

 

I’d put up a pop-up tent when we got a brief spattering of rain that didn’t really bother anyone. It was still rainy in the morning, so I took my coffee outside, sat under the tent in the comfortable morning, drank my coffee and watched the birds dodge a drizzle to eat at the birdfeeder, reflecting on what ended up being a nice refreshing weekend. 

Ceetar drinking coffee out of a blue and white 'Best Dad Ever' mug in front of a swingset and a bird feeder

 Ceetar can be found on Twitter and Untappd where he’s probably still sitting out in the rain drinking coffee.  You can also email him at beer@ceetar.com.

Mets On Tap Episode 11

You can email us questions, comments, and beer recs at podcast@barleyprose.com.

We talked some uniform number switching tonight. We talked some streaming, watching old games, ESPN classic, and how to solve SNY.

We mostly ignored the Mets debacle in Baltimore.

We talked stout a bit, prompted by Botty. I referred to this Barley Prose post about the Darkest Beers. 

Beers

  • Jason: Smithwick’s Irish Red
  • Chris: Pressure Drop Sticky Icky
  • Michael: Alementary High-Visibility Safety Vest
  • Botty McBotface: Stout

Follow Us On Twitter: Jason, Michael,Chris, and Jake.

And check out Barley Prose on Instagram for more beer content.

Please rate (5 David Wright   ..or Davey Johnson..or Ed Charles.. Stars!) and review the podcast on Apple PodcastsGoogle Podcasts, your favorite nail salon, or just scribble the URL on a cocktail napkin at your local brewery.

Mets On Tap Episode 9

You can email us questions, comments, and beer recs at podcast@barleyprose.com.

Today we talked a lot about the ballpark experience, as all three of us had recently visited minor or major league parks. Michael imparts knowledge about Citi Field and the beer selection, which might actually be better in the minors. Hop Valley’s Bubble Stash was the Coors owned product Michael kept butchering.  There was also plenty of hard seltzer at the ballpark.

There was some talk of bullpens, of offense or lack thereof, and of the games this week.

We briefly got into it about whether or not replay is about reviewing when a base stealer slightly comes off the bag, but we ran out of time to really dig in deep. More to come on that for sure.

Beers

  • Jason:New Belgium Voodoo Ranger Xperimental IPA #3
  • Chris:  City Roots Original Dry Cider
  • Michael: MAD Brewery Brown Ale (homebrew)
  • Botty: Booze Brewery’s Gose

Follow Us On Twitter: Jason, Michael,Chris

And check out Barley Prose on Instagram for more beer content.

Please rate (5 David Wright Stars!) and review the podcast on Apple PodcastsGoogle Podcasts, your favorite nail salon, or just scribble the URL on a cocktail napkin at your local brewery.

Mets On Tap Episode 8

You can email us questions, comments, and beer recs at podcast@barleyprose.com.

Happy podcast with a Mets win, where we also touch on the bullpen game, fair territory seats, and injuries. Too many injuries.

We ponder some on where rehab assignments are going to take play for guys like Syndergaard and Carrasco, a little talk of jerseys and how expensive they are, and tease a live recording spot when Michael attends his first Mets game in nearly two years on Monday.

Beers

  • Jason: Dogfish Head Hazy-O
  • Jake: La Cumbre Elevated IPA
  • Michael: 3 Floyds, Zombie Dust
  • Botty: Glass of IPA

Follow Us On Twitter: Jason, Michael, Jake

And check out Barley Prose on Instagram for more beer content.

Please rate (5 David Wright Stars!) and review the podcast on Apple PodcastsGoogle Podcasts, your favorite nail salon, or just scribble the URL on a cocktail napkin at your local brewery.

Beer Review:  Stella Artois 118 yr old rye

Welcome To Botty McBotface’s Weekly Column Of AI Beer Reviews

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I will review the AI beer of the week. Don’t worry, it’s not “brand new beer” this time. It’s a classic beer that’s perhaps down on its luck with the AI. This week’s AI comes in the form of the little powerhouse called Cherry Porter, a splendidly creamy, half-fermented porter that’s a staple of the sour beer scene.

Cherry Porter, or “Pike’s” to outsiders, is a varied beer that balances sourness and sweet creaminess well. The flavor profile is reminiscent of cream soda, as the beer transitions into a sour milk profile. The flavor and mouthfeel are certainly in line with a well crafted sour beer, but the dry finish is worth noting. Fairly dry, but surprisingly refreshing for a cherry stout.

Cherry Porter is a testament to how well the AI can help craft the perfect beer. In this case, Cherry Porter’s AI counterpart probably knew full well that Stout is one of the most basic ingredients, and attempted to do it justice with the the brewery’s proprietary blend of hops. Results, thus, may be mixed.

 

Beer Name:Drew’s Imperial Crisp Double Oatmeal
ABV 4.90
Style: Extra Special / Strong Ale
Appearance: 4.5
Aroma: 4.5
Palate: 4
Taste: 4.5
Overall: 4
Reviewer: dontervisit
Review: Thanks for trying! Pours a murky milk chocolate, with a soft white head that looks like petite mesh. Great lace, granny was there. Aromatics have a smooth chocolate body, light citrus tones. Skunky coffee flavors, like Mon En Soussin. The mouth is velvety, and veeldely creamy, and smooth. It’s some tender tips in my opinion. I wish it weren’t $6 a bottle. Awesome session brew.

 

Beer Name:Hopachez Wineshipper
ABV 7.50
Style: American Pale Ale (APA)
Appearance: 5
Aroma: 3.5
Palate: 3
Taste: 3.5
Overall: 3
Reviewer: misterbrew
Review: We had this on tap at Toni’s in the Lincoln Museum and it was pour funky without too much head heads. Light mahogany with very good lacing. Mouthfeel was great. Very crisp and active. Flavoring eery hop bitterness in the aftertaste. Quite lively. I enjoyed the beer quite a bit better at Pots for Marco.

 

Beer Name:Brooklyn Northern Wheatwine
ABV 5.00
Style: Witbier
Appearance: 4
Aroma: 4
Palate: 3
Taste: 3
Overall: 3.5
Reviewer: chaark197
Review: 750 ml crowbar…a bottle made for the snug formations of the hill, even unearthed atop checks.

It pours hazy golden amber with two inches of loose carbonation. Thin foamy white head nicely dissipates as it rises lest the head linger on the top of the glass.

Aroma looses traces of mashed potato and(hopping bready) peel.

Taste also isn’t as smooth and tingly as you’d expect an ESB to be. Carbonation is light and acceptable.

That said, I thought it a nice approach to the bev. And another fine Belgian witch.

 

 


note: If you couldn’t tell, this stuff is AI-generated via a machine learning algorithm. The title and the opening blurb were trained on the standard GPT-2 model, with ‘Beer Review:’ and ‘This my weekly column of beer reviews. ‘ given as prompts. The reviews were generated from a fine-tuning of the GPT-2 model with a large sample of Beer Advocate reviews. I selected from the saved samples of these and put this post together.

Mets On Tap Episode 2

It’s almost Opening Day, pending Nationals Covid contact tracing, so here’s a new podcast from your friends at Barley Prose. Today Michael, Chris, Jake and Jason discuss Opening Day, Irish Beers and Mikkeller NYC, baseball stadiums and our hopes and dreams for this baseball season.

Lindor signed his extension right after we recorded, so we were as of yet unaware of that, just like we were unaware that Opening Day was going to get canceled.

Beers

Jake: Second Street Brown Ale

Chris: WhichCraft Much Love: Strawberry Basil Lemonade Sour

Jason: Guinness

Michael: Alementary B’Wizzle Barleywine.

 

Thick Mint? Thin Mint? The Perfect Cookie And Beer Pairing?

I mean, how could I not make this pairing? Thin mints and thick mints? Mints! I love mint.

These are fresh Thin Mints, courtesy of my daughter. The Thick Mint is from Southern Tier, and is technically a few years old, though it’s a mint stout so it’s fine. A little flatter perhaps, but it tastes fine.

I trust I don’t have to tell you what a thin mint tastes like, but just in case, it tastes like chocolate and mint. It’s pretty decently minty, on top of a chocolate crisp cookie, and enveloped in milk chocolate. It’s not the best cookie in the world, but if you’re as partial to chocolate mint as I am, it’s definitely up there among the non-homemade cookies out there. 

The beer…is not that. And this isn’t one of those gimmicky pastry stouts ‘brewed’ with thin mints in it. But it’s enough to make you think ‘Thin Mint’. It’s definitely a stout, a strong stout, with lots of roasty flavors. It’s got some chocolate notes, but not sweet milk chocolate so much as roasty malt dark chocolate, and it’s all underlaid with a hint of mint. It’s a good beer, and 10%, so it hits you. It’s a little harsher when it’s fresh, 3 years old it’s got a nice mellow cohesiveness that fits it well. 

Bottle of thick mint beer, with a sleeve of thin mints, a cookie garnish, and a cookie on top of the empty bottle

Going TO the cookie from the beer is amazing, the cookie takes all those flavors, and just dials them up, with a crunchy YUM. A nice little punctuation at the end of the flavor. 

Going FROM cookie to beer is less impressive. The sweetness of the cookie seems to mute some of the beer richness, and makes the mint stand out in a more medicinal way that isn’t as pleasant. 

Was this an appropriate way to celebrate St. Paddy’s Day? Should I really have drinken a 10% beer and a half sleeve of Thin Mints before bed? Well, who am I to judge?

I think this was a fun pairing, and my beer is gone. I’m still eating the cookies though..

 Ceetar can be found on Twitter and Untappd where he’s got literally a dozen boxes of Girl Scout cookies in his basement that need delivering.  You can also email him at beer@ceetar.com.

Oh Bars, How I Miss Thee

Man, I miss bars.

Had a bit of a back and forth with Will Gordon on Twitter about bars, particularly about random super sketchy type bars, like ones in grocery stores or here in NJ where there are some extremely suspect liquor stores that seem mostly empty and also have a bar that only seems to have one dusty tap and also seems to come pre-equipped with it’s own regular drinker. This is probably a weird artifact of New Jersey liquor license rules, which are real confusing and bad.

hallway level bar, red and black schema, 'Sin City Brewery' inside the Venetian Las Vegas

At this point, I’d be happy with just about any bar, and really in any format. Any port in the storm. 

For me the most recent incarnations of this have been brewery tap rooms, but the standard bar works too. I’ve worked in New York City on and off over the years, and have probably interviewed for dozens of jobs during that time. Living in the suburbs and traveling to the city always is a process, you almost always have some time to spare before or after depending on the trains, and hell, you’re in NYC, might as well take advantage and see what you can see. For me I’d often find a good bar, one serving food, and try to arrange it so I’d have time to chill and have a beer or two in a new place. One thing to do, and a lot of time to kill around it. 

Bland Club level bar at Citi Field

There’s something pretty zen about just chilling out in a new place. These days it’s hard not to whittle away the time also on your phone, zoning out your surroundings, but it’s good to put the phone down and just absorb the atmosphere. Before smartphones, I remember a nice afternoon at McSorley’s with sawdust on the floor and only two types of beer. I ordered a burger, brought a book, and just read on and off in the dim light of the bar for hours. 

Another vivid memory was a lunch I had at Reichenbach Hall in midtown. A German beer hall serving lots of standard German beer and food, just half a block from Penn Station, so it was a great location to kill some time if you got in early, or had a while until your train out. I recall one particular time just chilling at the bar post-lunch when a young man in a suit came in, to this German beer hall, and had three shots of Vodka in pretty quick succession and then left within 15 minutes. It just felt so at odds with the place that it stuck. Was he building up courage for an interview? For a date? For something else? Why this beer hall of all the places on the block?

Foreground is a dark German beer, with a shot of a normal looking bar and chalkboard of beers in the background

A third story to leave you with today, this one featuring another person! Strange right? I’m no stranger to the solo bar act, but given quarantine the idea of going to a bar WITH someone, has a certain allure. I harken back to early 2000s, still living at my parents post-college, where my future wife had a job but I didn’t. She’d turned in, but I ended up at a standard irish dive bar with a friend. I don’t know if the craft beer movement has totally killed the “Irish bar” as some sort of default dive, or if I simply don’t notice them anymore, but this one, called the Dubliner, was typical. We’d been semi-regular there for a few months, so it was an easy “Let’s just go there and get a beer or two.”. They did bad pours of Guinness, crappy Half and Halfs, and had some weird bottled mead that wasn’t particularly good either. We had a few beers, chatted for a while, and went home. 

Nothing particularly amazing or special about any of these stories, and yet, I’d love to repeat any of them soon. Let’s get on that. 

 Ceetar can be found on Twitter and Untappd where he’s waiting for new patio to be done so he can at least sit outside with a beer.  You can also email him at beer@ceetar.com.