The Slop and Prison Wine and Pumpkin Beers

When I was in high school, obviously, alcohol was a bit harder for us to come by.

Obviously, we had our opportunities, when a friend’s older brother maybe was in town, or when we were clued in to some party in the woods somewhere where someone had procured a precious keg.

But, also, sometimes we took matters into our own hands.

I had a buddy Matt, who had a recipe on a yellowed sheet of loose leaf paper.  The end product of that recipe was a concoction that was fondly referred to as “the Slop.”  While I can’t recount the full ingredients list, it involved juice, and sugar, and yeast, and a cooler that was left alone in the forest somewhere to ferment for a bunch of weeks and do its thing.  And we drank the Slop and it was good.

Well, let’s redefine the term “good.”  It was alcohol and we made it and it was ours to drink.  And perhaps that was what was truly good about it.  Not the mouthfeel, or the hints or nuances.  We’d mix it with iced tea, or apple juice, or something to make it taste less like embalming fluid mixed with gummy bears, and then voila!  We was a drinkin’.

(What does this have to do with pumpkin beers and seasonal ales?  Bear with me, faithful readers).

The Slop was, in a certain parlance, our high school forest equivalent of prison wine.  Maybe a bit more elegant than a sock filled with yeast and orange slices hidden behind a toilet tank, but, yet, also maybe not so much.

To me, pumpkin beer is the craft equivalent of prison wine.

Don’t get me wrong.  I have nothing but fond memories of my time slugging down the Slop in the wee hours of the night, in dark places with my friends.  And to me, pumpkin beer is the beer that tastes most like it was cooked up by enterprising and thirsty young kids trying to turn no-beer-nights into a fall festival.

This week, I’m drinking the Brooklyn Brewery’s “Post Road” Pumpkin Ale.

Not brewed in the woods by delinquent teens, to my knowledge

 

From those fine folks, ITBMCBB*, comes a drink that “use[s] a touch of spices and pounds of real pumpkins to create a warm but surprisingly crisp spin on the traditional pumpkin ales made by American colonists.”

This is a fine fall beer, with the right amount of pumpkinery. And like so many other products offered by the Brooklyn Brewing Company, this beer hits all the points you’d expect it to. I got to meet some of these folks when they had a table set up at the Great New York State Fair and I gushed about my love for their Brown Ale, their Bel Air Sour, and their various IPAs. I’ve yet to have a beer that these folks put out there that I wouldn’t buy again.

But here’s the thing. I’ll also go about 10 months without drinking a pumpkin beer and I will miss it about as much as I miss the Slop. Nothing against these guys, or anyone who puts out a pumpkin beer. But sometimes prison wine is best left out in the woods in that cooler.

I’m going to blow the dust of the ol’ Proseinator and let it bring this review home.

“This beer tastes like what it would taste like if a

made love to a

in the middle of a

while listening to the Greatest Hits Album of the world’s greatest band, ever, that being of course

and then together raised a baby with their shared feelings of

and, finally, that baby cried

tears of

into a frosty pint glass.”

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Beer Review:  Kiwi Cream Ale I mixed the Kiwi Cream Ale with Sierra Nevada

This my weekly column of beer reviews. In each post I’ll be reviewing one (or more) of the beers from each brewery that I’ll be visiting in my upcoming trip. A quick look at the full list of breweries here. Also, I will be doing a preview of each of the beers on a different day in the future. That will be posted on the first day of each week’s column. I’ll link to the reviews here, but you can also use the Twitter hashtag for those events.
Beer Reviews
This week’s review is from Stone Brewing Co. of Escondido, CA. I went there for their Halloween release which was a 12.1% ABV Imperial Pumpkin Ale.

 

Beer Name:Pater Neill
ABV 12.00
Style: American Oatmeal Stout
Appearance: 3.5
Aroma: 4
Palate: 4.5
Taste: 4
Overall: 4
Reviewer: Domingo
Review: 12 oz. bottle poured into a pint glass

Appearance: Clear brown with reddish highlights and a half inch of foam. urban. Looks like a really well done swimsuit.

Smells like sweet caramel, toast, bread, and a little bit of sour.

Taste: Great taste! Thick, sweet caramel covered with good sourdough and bread. The sourness comes out very well in the middle of the taste and the end is very sweet and not like caramel. There is nice bitterness in there as well.

Mouthfeel: Medium bodied. Quite smooth, caramel, wheat, and some alcohol warmth.

Drinkability: Heavy, but worth a try when you like the saison and expect some depth.

 

Beer Name:Lambicchio
ABV 5.00
Style: Lambic – Fruit
Appearance: 4
Aroma: 3.5
Palate: 4
Taste: 4
Overall: 4
Reviewer: ajwolf
Review: 1. 125ml bottle.

A: Poured a 2 finger foam head. Head stayed around for twelve months.

S: Luscious aromas of spices, dry alcohol and bread.

T: Rich, sweet overtones. Shadow of a tar that you could taste.

M: Thick in the mouth.

Drinkability: I think this is a fairly good lambic. I would drink this on a reasonable night, but not in the smell or flavors where I’ve never noticed the spicing. This is a bit of a good beer. I would love to have some more in my fridge.

 

Beer Name:Octavia
ABV 12.00
Style: American Strong Bitter
Appearance: 3.5
Aroma: 4
Palate: 3.5
Taste: 3.5
Overall: 3.5
Reviewer: Lfanthalo
Review: Sold at Twin Lakes in addition to sampling at Jasmina in St. Louis.

Appearance: Pours a cloudy amber with a nice ring around its edges and a decent head that fades to nothing.

Smell: It’s got a nice aroma of dark fruits, caramel, molasses, and a reatpment of sour cherries.

Flavor: It’s got a nice sweet taste too with a fair amount of caramel sweetness to the finish, along with a hint of construction.

Mouthfeel: Light body with some spiciness to it.

Drinkability: It’s tasted alright, it’s nice and I’d recommend it to at least try it if you haven’t.

 


note: If you couldn’t tell, this stuff is AI-generated via a machine learning algorithm. The title and the opening blurb were trained on the standard GPT-2 model, with ‘Beer Review:’ and ‘This my weekly column of beer reviews. ‘ given as prompts. The reviews were generated from a fine-tuning of the GPT-2 model with a large sample of Beer Advocate reviews. I selected from the saved samples of these and put this post together. 

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Beer Review:  White Horse Steambrewery’s Ales

This my weekly column of beer reviews. You may have seen the little red flag above. That is the flag of an upcoming review. This week, I’m reviewing a beer that I’ve had several times, but never reviewed. The beer is My Favorite Thing From The Beer Store (MFTT). My Favorite Thing From The Beer Store is a 5.5% Belgian Strong Dark Ale brewed by Goose Island. It’s a very different beer than the beer I’ve reviewed previously, but a good one. I’ll do my best to give it the full review treatment.

 

Beer Name:Licorice Qwerty
ABV 16.00
Style: American Adjunct Lager
Appearance: 3.5
Aroma: 3
Palate: 3
Taste: 3.5
Overall: 3
Reviewer: WTHNICH?
Review: A- Dark red with a solid sized head.Nitrome

S- You can tell that this one was made for the style, but it’s fruity.

T- Full of pineapple, but the taste is much better. Take it easy for a style yo. And this is a good example of what the style should be. The ABV is very well hidden.

M&D- Good drinkability with the fruity aspect.

 

Beer Name:Goatsnurst
ABV 8.00
Style: Old Ale
Appearance: 4
Aroma: 4.5
Palate: 4.5
Taste: 4.5
Overall: 4
Reviewer: Northcrown
Review: Blind Scottish spirit rois
Serving Size: 4 oz. cans alone
Appearance: 4
Aroma: 4
Taste: 4
Overall: 4
Reviewer: Ozy
Review: A: Clear yellow, with a decent head.

S: A lot of Clmo, Cloth, and Clove. Definitely a lot of clove.

T: Flavor is great. Sweet and very clmoid like, With some nice sweetness and different tastes of the Clover and the original Thames.

M: Very nice mouthfeel. It is very smooth. Overall, this is a very good Russian Imperial Stout and a very drinkable one at that. I could have it again.

 

Beer Name:Carb Bombs
ABV 5.80
Style: American Malt Liquor
Appearance: 4.5
Aroma: 4
Palate: 4
Taste: 4
Overall: 4.5
Reviewer: kmpitz1
Review: 10 oz bottle with the word “Carbonated” on it. The color is a nice yellow with a nice head. There is a slight head after every sip. The smell is a lot like a ketchup-laden light bread soda. They taste has a caramel sweetness up front. The mouthfeel is spot on. The drinkability is perfect. This is a one of the best brews I have had. I would classify this as a “little sweeter, a little lighter” but I don’t…

 

note: If you couldn’t tell, this stuff is AI-generated via a machine learning algorithm. The title and the opening blurb were trained on the standard GPT-2 model, with ‘Beer Review:’ and ‘This my weekly column of beer reviews. ‘ given as prompts. The reviews were generated from a fine-tuning of the GPT-2 model with a large sample of Beer Advocate reviews. I selected from the saved samples of these and put this post together. 

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Beer Review:  Hawaiian Breakfast Latte (aka “Ah-Mai-Nay”)

This my weekly column of beer reviews. I drink a lot of beer and try to keep up with the latest trends. If I have something you’d like to know about, please feel free to email me at bojangles@gmail.com or leave a comment below.

 

Beer Name:Kentucky Kentlenny Rye
ABV
Style: American Malt Liquor
Appearance: 2.5
Aroma: 3.0
Palate: 4
Taste: 3.5
Overall: 4
Reviewer: mynish
Review: I normally get a bit annoyed at beers that don’t have a lot of time to age. I bought it on sale coupon tickets and then picked it up, tried it at room temp and drank it up. Not a word of good quality. This beer had a really nice softness painted onto it however. I remember as a kid, drinking this before I was a teenager. It was a big hit. This was the moon oil. A: The head was small, with a little lacing. The smell was well done. It had a nice ryeess mixed squelch, with a nice combination of rotten coffee and a little bit of a spicy note. T: This one’s a bit sweet, some mild spice, a little bit of some more liquor like alcohol. The taste was a little too sweet, with alcohol making an appearance. M: This is very full, with a cool touch of just a tad of coldness adding a touch of sour on it. D: I like this one though it wasn’t too great. It’s a more interesting style of beer that I haven’t had before. It’s a good one.

 

Beer Name:Ritz (Frommist)
ABV 5.40
Style: American Adjunct Lager
Appearance: 4
Aroma: 2.5
Palate: 3.5
Taste: 3.5
Overall: 4
Reviewer: Paul665
Review: I had the pleasure of trying the “Triple” on a trip to Frederick, Maryland. I thought this would be a good way to warm up to a new beer.

A: Pours orange color. Minimal head and no lacing.

S: Water, lemon, and orange.

T: Water, lemon, orange, barley.

M: Water, barley.

D: Easy to drink, but nothing special. I am not a big fan.

 

Beer Name:J.W. Marriott Dunkelweizen
ABV 9.00
Style: Dunkelweizen
Appearance: 3
Aroma: 3.5
Palate: 3
Taste: 4.5
Overall: 4.5
Reviewer: JacobJ
Review:

Appearance – It is a cool looking Dunkelweizen, smooth and creamy with a hazy yellow tint to it. The head is thin, but gives a nice retention. Exceedingly smooth.

Smell – A great blend of oak and mild sweetness.

Taste – A strong forecast of Munich style dunkelweiss. Not as sweet as the I.B.M.M. with its strong caramel content. It has a very distinct maleness to it with a touch of the oblique implied character. Its smooth, classic and is a true Steinbier. Its not like a kwolle weisse or a weissebier. Its a German style dunkelweiss.

Mouthfeel – Medium, body.

Drinkability – I can see being a bit of a jerk here, because this is a weiss. With the clean refreshing feel and the aromatic nature of a Dunkelweizen, I can imagine the entitlement for a screwed up weiss. It’s a nice little beer, and a unique brew.

 

 


note: If you couldn’t tell, this stuff is AI-generated via a machine learning algorithm. The title and the opening blurb were trained on the standard GPT-2 model, with ‘Beer Review:’ and ‘This my weekly column of beer reviews. ‘ given as prompts. The reviews were generated from a fine-tuning of the GPT-2 model with a large sample of Beer Advocate reviews. I selected from the saved samples of these and put this post together. 

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Beer Review: Artisanal Two-Stage IPA with Chai Tea and Ginger

This my weekly column of beer reviews. This week I’ve got the totally delicious Ghost Stalker. I’ll talk about the beer, but I’m going to also talk about what it means to me. The history, the story, the vision. The beer is a tale of a hellish time in my life that took a terrible turn. It’s a story about the power of a loving and resilient group of friends. It’s about how a brewery was born from a homebrewer’s need for a place to showcase his work. And, perhaps most importantly, it’s a story about how that brewery is still going strong.

 

Beer Name:Maryland Hathcock Brew
ABV 10.00
Style: English Bitter
Appearance: 4
Aroma: 4.5
Palate: 4.5
Taste: 4.5
Overall: 4
Reviewer: lllm
Review: This is a unique brew. It is an English Bitter that is approached from the side of the road. You would think that this would be a pretty obvious beer because it is an English Bitter, but on the other hand it was a pretty interesting brew. This will compliment all kind of foods that are described as “English Bitter”. It has a nice complex flavor. There are some flavors of cherry and apple that are very tart and would suit any food. The crispness works very well with the drinkability. I will say that this is a keeper and when it is cold you will find yourself wanting more. Would be good on a warm night. Maryland Hathcock is an English Bitter.

 

Beer Name:Graf Dunkel
ABV 6.80
Style: Dunkel Lager
Appearance: 3.5
Aroma: 3
Palate: 3.5
Taste: 3.5
Overall: 3
Reviewer: udon
Review: 12 oz Brown bottle with clear neon unicorn logo on the bottle. Appearance: It’s a very nice looking Dunkel lager. The cloudy green color is pretty. The head was decent and hit the brewthroat. Smell: This was a bit of a letdown. When peeked at all the other dunkel beers I’d normally say “No problem.” But the smell was just too much. Taste and mouthfeel: This was a good Dunkel lager. The flavors mellowed as the beer warmed up. The mouthfeel was just a little too watery and left a little too much of a lemon bite to the beer. Drinkability and beer: This was a pretty good Dunkel lager. It is also one of my favorites in Germany. I wouldn’t drink this again.

 

Beer Name:Sultan Fahd – Mouthful
ABV 30
Style: American Amber / Red Ale
Appearance: 3.5
Aroma: 4
Palate: 3.5
Taste: 4
Overall: 4
Reviewer: bspencer
Review: 330mL bottle poured into a mocha cup. The initial smell was strong malty sweetness, with a slight bitterness. The taste was rich mocha, with a slight bitterness. The mouthfeel was rich mocha-covered sweetness. The drinkability had a citrusy quality to it. The drinkability was pretty good.

 

 


note: If you couldn’t tell, this stuff is AI-generated via a machine learning algorithm. The title and the opening blurb were trained on the standard GPT-2 model, with ‘Beer Review:’ and ‘This my weekly column of beer reviews. ‘ given as prompts. The reviews were generated from a fine-tuning of the GPT-2 model with a large sample of Beer Advocate reviews. I selected from the saved samples of these and put this post together. I have not yet figured out how to train an algorithm to generate me beer photos.

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Beer Review:  Navel Dreamer

This my weekly column of beer reviews. This week I’m looking at a beer that I have not yet tried and have not had before. This is the beer review for Hatteras Brewing Co. Hatteras Brewing Company is located in Hatteras, NC. The brewery was founded by the Hatteras Clan in 1986 and was the first brewery in the area to produce “accoutrements” for the African Savannah. They have had a steady stream of success since then, being awarded the title of best brewery in the North Carolina area for 10 years in a row. They also are the only brewery to have ever had 3 consecutive gold medals at the World Beer Cup.

 

Beer Name:Collision Course Berliner Weisse
ABV 5.90
Style: Berliner Weissbier
Appearance: 4
Aroma: 3.5
Palate: 4
Taste: 4
Overall: 4
Reviewer: aarak
Review: The first drink was glasses of beer that have been sitting in a beer fridge for the past two years. In this case, I don’t mean really old. They are newly acquired, these are a beer that I am drinking. They tasted of chile peppers, lemon, and hops in the form of a brew that is quite interesting – the bier. I do rather like the style (6.6% ABV) but I do not like it as much as some other ‘biers’.

 

“London Bitter”
ABV 5.20
Style: London Bitter
Appearance: 3
Aroma: 3
Palate: 3
Taste: 3
Overall: 3
Reviewer: darksgroove
Review: Bottle: Poured into a pint, pretty good, wore pretty well, well carbonated and a little damp. Appearance: Dark, carbonated, with a nice lingering hop character. Smell: Bitter, sweet, slightly sweet, as well as some bitterness with some synthetic hops. Taste: Nice bitterness, like something from old standard. Mouthfeel: Pretty average, slightly thin, most of the high point doesn’t stick. Drinkability: Overall, a pretty good London Bitter

 

Beer Name:Altenmünster Oktober Fest
ABV 10.00
Style: Weizenbock
Appearance: 4
Aroma: 4
Palate: 3.5
Taste: 3.5
Overall: 3.5
Reviewer: BeerReborn
Review: Oktoberfest is, in my opinion, the best option for this style of beer. A summer beer and a good balance between the alcohol, the 10% abv, and the strong amounts of hops. The hop character is very modest and very caramelized. The roasted malts/wort beer feels rich but very smooth. Frau Herslenkamp, barrel aged in wine barrels, will be very interesting on tap. There’s a little hop bitterness to the beer that I can’t get rid of. This is not a bad thinker. It’s got nice flavors, and I really like it. The alcohol is quite high, so expect to drown out the drinks.

 


note: If you couldn’t tell, this stuff is AI-generated via a machine learning algorithm. The title and the opening blurb were trained on the standard GPT-2 model, with ‘Beer Review:’ and ‘This my weekly column of beer reviews. ‘ given as prompts. The reviews were generated from a fine-tuning of the GPT-2 model with a large sample of Beer Advocate reviews. I selected from the saved samples of these and put this post together. I have not yet figured out how to train an algorithm to generate me beer photos.

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